Smells Like A Winner

On a recent trip to Burger King I read something interesting. On the bag containing my Burger and Fries was a statement titled "Smells Like A Winner" It went something like this:
"You always hear sports announcers talk about the 'Sweet Smell Of Success'. But none of them ever really explains what that smells like. We'd like to propose it's the scent wafting from this very bag. Of course, we could be wrong. But we don't think so."
To you, Burger King, I would like to say..... "I respectfully Disagree". The sweet smell of success actually smells nothing like Flame Broiled Burgers and Crispy Fries. It smells more like 10 foot tall stalks of corn, with a hint of muddy earthiness.
We went to Kent to get some pumpkins for the kids to carve..... side note..... don't let your 10 year old daughter, 8 year old son and their equally aged friends be in charge of hunting for the pumpkins. Trudging out to the edges of the pumpkin patch is not for the faint of heart, and all they provide you with to haul the heaviest pumpkins they have is a cart with no sides. It takes "Off Roading" to a whole new level.
The Pumpkin Patch not only offers monstrously heavy pumpkins for your creative carving pleasure, but it also offers fresh made Kettle Corn and Corn still on the Cob Roasted and Slathered in enough butter to make you question if it still qualifies as a vegetable according to the Food Guide Pyramid.
Here's the best part.... They also have a corn maze! Yes, that's right! They will be more than happy to let you pay 7 dollars per adult, and 5 dollars per child to go GET LOST! After handing over the proper amount of Washington's we were each given a map and a skeptical look. Perhaps I don't look like the type of person who could successfully brave a field full of corn in the shape of a space ship and it's alien without getting myself lost or injured. I pay no mind to the murmured concerns of the staff and head to the entrance of the Maze with my family. Perhaps the staff had some validation to their concerns. You see, while I may have an uncanny sense of time, my sense of direction is actually pretty pathetic. But what they didn't know, was that I had a secret weapon! My husband, who has no sense of time AT ALL, is blessed with 'an innate sense of direction'. He could have found his way to every point in the maze without ever looking at the map. He's just that cool.
So, with my own version of GPS at my side I stepped confidently into the maze. What I forgot to take into account was the enthusiasm of the children. The minute they stepped foot in the maze they scattered like gumballs on the kitchen floor! As I attempted to get them to come back I looked to my husband for some help. He didn't seem bothered. And then I realised why. Apparently, unless you are him, you will run around in circles in the maze. Sure enough, within seconds of their disbursement all of the children were back in front of us wondering how we got there before them.
My husband quickly gained control of the situation pairing us all up and promising that if we just followed him, we would reach every check point in the maze in no time. I was to play the part of Caboose for the duration, as I seemed most likely to make sure that no one got left behind. I was also given a map to follow..... like it would somehow help. My husband actually snorted at the idea of using the map to guide us, but agreed, just to make me feel better.
So, with the song "following the leader" from Peter Pan playing in full swing in my mind we set off trailing behind my husband. Just when I was beginning to think I had definitely seen that stalk of corn somewhere before, my husband triumphantly announced that we had found the first marker. We all stamped our cards and looked toward our fearless leader for the next move.
It continued on in much the same way for each of the 12 checkpoints with my admiration for my husband and his phenomenal navigational skills growing at each one. We exited the maze a mere 40 minutes after first entering. My husband looked a little smug, but I suppose in the end he deserved it. Because of him we were able to experience the "Sweet Smell Of Success" for ourselves. Which made me crave one of those roasted corn cobs.......