Last night I had an experience that ranks in the top 5 of most painful experiences of my life. Up until then the list included things like, 3rd degree burns and subsequent physical therapy, Pitocin, and the occasional awkward date in college. Admittedly, the last one doesn't count as actual physical pain, but if you had been there, you would understand that it qualifies. It wasn't a long list. Pain isn't something I am used to dealing with. For good reason too, it Whomps! But I added something to my list this morning. Headaches. Now, don't misunderstand me. I have had headaches before, but I usually don't medicate myself for them because they are merely a nuisance and nothing more. Besides, I don't medicate myself as a general rule anyway because of the ease to which I fall victim to its side effects (read Misery Loves Company below for more on that). Last night we were going to go to a friends house to hang out and have some tasty snacks, but about 2 minuets before I was going to leave I experienced something that can only be likened to the phrase 'being hit by a truck'. I have never been hit by a truck, but I imagine that is what it feels like.
I understand that until now, I have severely underestimated the durability of the human skull. It is sturdier than I thought it capable to be. As I lay on the floor of our bathroom unable to form a coherent sentence, I became consumed by the pain in my head. I bleakly thought that this must be what a bottle of soda feels like when it gets shaken, and vowed to never shake soda again. I kept waiting for my cranium to succumb to the pressure and allow what gray matter I have left to decorate the walls and ceiling, but for some strange reason, it held together. However creepy it may seem, I can totally relate to the concept of physicians of old who would drill a hole in the skull to relieve pressure.
I did manage to get to bed at some point, but not before finding some medicine that was guaranteed to keep someone the size of Paul Bunyan from feeling any pain. I think I fell asleep. I must have. I remember waking up and stretching in bed, an act that should have caused my head to explode, without so much as a tingle. I was very cautious as I got out of bed and fed the dogs. I didn't move too quickly and even wondered if this is how hangovers feel. The pain returned after a while, but it has so far contented itself with being a background nuisance.
Now, I don't normally condone laughing at other peoples pain. But I thought, that by writing this out I can somehow manage to find the humor in it all and perhaps laugh at the pain myself. If not, well, at the very least I can hide in a dark corner and hope that it doesn't happen again.
4 years ago